In the event that the world ends…

November 16, 2012 — Leave a comment

So, my Facebook feed full of people contemplating the end of the world. If, in fact, the end draweth neigh, I would still have some things to be thankful for.

Okay, if you are a girl who grew up in a Charismatic church hearing about the rapture and the end of the world, then this is going to be obvious. I GOT MARRIED AND HAD KIDS BEFORE THE TRUMPET SOUNDED!!!!! That’s big, y’all. If nine-year-old Adrienne’s deals with God are valid, that means technically I can pray for nothing else ever. If you’re a boy and prayed a similar prayer at nine, I hope you got a video game console and got to spend an entire weekend staying up all night, gaming and eating pizza before the Big Guy calls us home.

On that note, Sarah and Larry, y’all might wanna consider getting married RIGHT NOW. Don’t wait until sunset tonight. Heck, text your vows if you have to. You need to slide in under this door! And I’ll be thankful when you do.

Speaking of wedded bliss… I’m so grateful for all of our family that are driving in from all corners for the big day. I love celebrating this new chapter of Larry’s life together. In the event that the highways are closed and the little men in parachutes descend, our basement will accommodate.

Speaking of basements, should I decide to stock mine, I’m grateful for the warehouse shelves that currently hold the ghosts of technology’s past. I know we’re going to need some diodes and electrodes and old cell phone antennae. Once we clear the shelves to make the inevitable communication gear, we’ll have lots of room to store the pumpkin harvest growing in the woods from all of the rotten ones I tossed from the front porch. Ooooh – I’m thankful for those too! (Score 2!)

I’m grateful for satellite tv. Cable might not work. Broadcast might be shot. But nothing can get between us and the ole DTV lady in the Southern Sky. Well, except for nuclear winter. Maybe I need to rethink this one??

I’m thankful for my time with my children. If the snapshot was taken NOW, and this was all I ever got, we did well.

I’m also thankful for the realization just now that I need to remember that marker every morning in the form of a question. Don’t mock me when it shows up cleverly illustrated on Pinterest. I’m only human.

I’m thankful for the Dillard’s return policy. If the snapshot were taken now, I’d fail the keeping up the ‘ole figure test. Sequins do NOT hide muffin top. Besides, anthropologists do not need to find me fossilized in my basement, surrounded by makeshift com’ gear, holding a fermented pumpkin drink and wearing sequins. NOT a good legacy.

And finally, I’m thankful for a sense of humor. Being able to look at the most serious of things and locate the humor disarms fear. Actually, 1 John 4:18 says it’s perfect love that casts out all fear. By having found that perfect love, I can look at everything that I might ordinarily freak out over and, well, laugh. I know from where my help comes.

Keep it classy in the end y’all!

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